A sex party is always a tricky proposition, one that can bring up all the anxieties inherent in bar cruising and amplify them by a factor of ten – what if I don’t hook up, what if nobody is into me, what if I’m not into anybody there? Fortunately, Stiffy Lube’s “Bad Men and Dirty Boys” fundraising event on Saturday night was able to walk the line between party and orgy, with considerable support on the party side from the Honey Sound System and the MC talents of Juanita Fajita, so that everyone had the chance for some satisfaction, whether in the arms of passion or just having an opportunity to hang out and enjoy the small crowd of gay Burners and party boys.
The boyfriend and I showed up around 10, and as usual were among the first people there. We left around four, after spending a couple hours on the door shift, and there were no signs that the party was heading for any kind of end. In the back room there was plenty of heavy breathing and other sounds of passion, while up front it was a pretty typical party scene, though with more shirtless guys than I have seen in a while. The crowd was small, some where around a hundred, but there was enough enthusiastic cheering during the deep throat contest, overseen by Juanita Fajita, that the cops showed up and told us to keep it down. Pee Play and Ken Vulsion kept the mood upbeat and festive throughout the night, and as the evening wore on I saw a number of queer luminaries, like John Wood, and Jeff and Gary, in attendance.
In all, it was a fun party in a private space, something you don’t often get to experience these days, and having so many attendees who were connected by the Burning Man experience meant that there was already a kind of built-in intimacy. The fact that it was in a difficult-to-reach location (that the boyfriend and I had to trek down most of upper Market to the Castro before we could get a cab after we left was a big bring-down) kept the attendance lower than it would have been otherwise, and $20 for showing up in street clothes, and then paying $3 a pop for drink tickets, also made it somewhat cost-prohibitive for those showing up after having spent regular bar hours elsewhere, but I think the Stiffylube crew can count themselves as having had a quite successful fundraiser that will only whet the appetite for future events.